From Survival to Thrival through Music | TEDxTALK in Shanghai, China 2023

Cherub Xingyu Yao TEDxTALK TianShan, Shanghai, China, 2023

I was born to be a music therapist.

At the age of 15, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

A musician: express myself without limits—whether it’s technical or emotional;

A psychologist: dig deep into human psyche and the social fabric to understand the root cause of human sufferings and discover ways to transform trauma into growth;

A scientist: always excited to reveal the mechanism behind music and healing, so that I can replicate the solution and show you how to do the same.

This is why, after completing my first psychology research on happiness and creativity in 2013, I packed my life in two suitcases and flew from Shanghai to Boston to study with musicians from over 100 countries at Berklee College of Music. There, all of my dreams became reality, better than I could ever imagine at 15. I felt that I could die feeling satisfied. No regrets.

Soon, the pandemic hit. I found I had to “die” to allow the new possibilities to emerge.

I wrote in my journal:

"The night of March 18, 2020. I can’t sleep. So many thoughts and feelings are bubbling up.

I know it’s late. I know I am supposed to go to bed right now. But I also know that ignoring and suppressing what’s bubbling inside of me just to push myself to sleep is not healthy for the long haul.

At the same time, I realize that writing and talking to someone is not effective anymore…

(turning to the next page)

"Last night, I pulled out my guitar. I decided to let music hold me and support me.

It’s 4am. The song is completed. Now I am relaxed, satisfied, and ready to sleep."

And that's the song you heard at the beginning. Writing a song was my way of coping. That’s how much I trusted and understood the power of music. This song empathized how I felt in the midst of the chaos. It reminded me that “I can’t control what I can’t control.” However, I can always choose how I respond. It’s not the event itself determines our emotions and destiny, it’s HOW WE RESPOND. I sang this song every day.

Five months later, I was in a deep meditative state, hearing a voice challenging me. It said:” Xingyu, you have done such a great job utilizing your talents and skills to help people improve their life through music, neuroscience and psychology. You have transformed thousands of people. This is great! But what if you can impact millions and billions of people?”

How would you respond? (Pause, asking the audience)

My friends said that I was such a “yes, and” person. So, typical me, I said “yes!” no, let’s rewind. I said “yeeeaaas?” and I started a master degree in innovation and entrepreneurship at HEC Paris. I relocated to Shanghai. I founded a bilingual podcast. I started writing a memoir. In all of these, I became crystal clearer how I was Born to be a music therapist, this perfect combination of a musician, a psychologist, and a scientist. And it all started when I was in the womb.

Yes, you are hearing it right. Neuroscience shows the fetus can hear sound from the outside at 3 months old. They begin to grow emotional bonds through sound and develop a music preference. My dad was a professional singer. Men’s voice is lower hence easier to penetrate the womb and reach the fetus.

I have this vivid memory at 3, where my dad was rehearsing at one side of the room. On the other side, my mom and I were painting together, as I moved to the groove. The wall in front of me was covered with our artwork.

Before that precious moment, my mom had been carefully selecting music for me from her Records collection. Music from around the world: European classical, Chinese traditional, Shanghainese jazz and American jazz, Latin American, Arabic, American and Chinese pop music, the list goes on. We did not listen to music only for pleasure. She picked music throughout the day, for my play time, whether alone or together, meal time, exercise time, wind-down before bed. She cracked the code of how to use music to emotionally regulate a baby. She was using music functionally.

And today, this is part of what I do as a music therapist professionally.

Babies rely on their caregiver for emotional regulation and form secure attachment. 90% of brain growth happens before age 5. When I learned these in music therapy class, I realized what mom did for me was a huge gift for my life, for my brain development and for my emotional capacity. With this set of music playlist, I did not need to see my mom all the time to feel secure. Because auditory-wise, music was the bond and connection between us. Music was this motherly container. I believe that bond saved my mom’s life a decade later.

One month before I turned 13, our car was rear-ended by a truck. My dad and I had acute injuries of soft tissue. My mom was rushed into the ICU. She was in a coma for 1 month and we only had 15 minutes a day to visit her. When she recovered her speech 2 months later, she told me that she was going towards another world in the coma. All of a sudden, she heard me playing ukulele and singing. “It was that,” she said, “reminded me that my little girl is waiting for me. I can’t go. I have to come back to take care of my little girl.” Ten years later, I found myself using music scientifically to wake people up from coma.

When I was pursuing my 1st degree in psychology, my grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We watched him decline rapidly. He used to be this strong man who built roads by his hands in the mountains of North China. In his 60s, he loved playing a game with me. He asked me to grab onto his arm. Then he proudly performed weightlifting (with me hanging on it).

Bu the disease took away that part of him. He stopped exercising at 5am, which he did his entire life. He’s forgetting about us, about who he was, about food, about taking a shower…

Anyone experienced something similar? Then you probably could relate: I was eager to find a way to reconnect with him. (It felt like trying to find this impossible path in the maze called Alzheimer’s disease.)

One day, I was playing the piano. He started humming, a popular melody from the 40s. “三轮车上的小姐真美丽” a Shanghainese Jazz tune he listened to growing up. It was also the first time my mom heard him singing! He appeared to recognize who we were (when he sang or right after he sang).

A light bulb went off in my head: I want to get him moving! I started changing the rhythm and tempo of the song, while verbally encouraging him to stand up and march. Guess what? He laughed and began to march to the beat. We got him back! While grandpa was lost in the maze called Alzheimer’s disease, music was the only way to create this neuropath to reconnect with him. Meanwhile, the scientist inside me asked: woah, how could I make it more effective? What exactly happened there?

Six years later, I found myself in Boston, working with a client who had Alzheimer’s disease and depressive mood disorder. I utilized a music therapy research method called microanalysis to map out the treatment progress—the exact music therapy intervention I did and the impact. Later published at New England Region Music Therapy Conference and Panama Jazz Festival Music Therapy Symposium. I named it “Creative Emotional Processing without memory.”

Every day, I get to share these beautiful moments with my clients and students. Before we come to a CODA, let me share one more story with you. I first met George in a rehabilitation center, where he was experiencing a paranoid episode. He believed that he’s in hell and the nurses were attacking him. So, he fought back, screaming: “call my wife to get me out of here! You evil.”

Everyone backed away, except I approached him with a rolling keyboard. 30 minutes later, we connected like a beloved family. As I played music by Beethoven, Bach, and Chopin, he kept sharing his wonderful childhood memories of listening to each piece with his parents, talking and giggling. Suddenly, he asked: “Are you married? You know, I have a wonderful son who is still single…” During the next two weeks of his stay, he accepted the care well and never had another paranoid episode. He called my name every time seeing me from far away.

All the staff members called it miraculous because he suffered from severe memory loss due to a stroke. He forgot that his wife passed away 5 years ago, his son was married, he had grandchildren, and he’s 72.

I was so glad that I approached him with my rolling keyboard.

Even when other functions disappear, music still moves us. It turned out that hearing is not only the first sense we developed in the womb, but also the last one to disappear when we die.

Now you might be thinking, do I have to have musical training to benefit from music therapy? The answer is quite nuanced. Yes and no.

No. Because the ability to express feelings, to connect, and to overcome adversity through music is programmed in our genes as human beings. Neuroscience shows that 1) Engaging in music is the only activity that activates the entire human brain. Fireworks! Party! 2) our music instinct exists before language. It’s a gift that helped our ancestors to survive over 35,000 years ago. And it continues to help us to thrive.

And a yes, because you need an encouraging environment to activate that “gene,” to wake up the musician that already exists inside of you.

I can see that in every one of you.

You know when we hum that A together (giving cues to the audience to hum that chord again). you know what just happened? Over 100 brains release tons of oxytocin all together.

It’s a chemical that helps you to regulate emotion, feel bonded and connected, increase trust and empathy. That’s why it’s called the love hormone. It’s free. It’s manufactured right here (point at my brain) anytime you want, and today you’ve learned how to do it—sing together.

So, what kind of relationship do you want to have with music? What are you going to do to cultivate that relationship in your life?

Today, I welcome all of you into my world, where music is as important as science, math and engineering, if not more. Every problem has a musical solution. Thank you!

TEDxTALK From Survival to Thrival through Music. Cherub Xingyu Yao

Q&A Section

How did you prepare for the TEDxTALK and what's the challenge?

I wrote 7 drafts! The challenge of the preparation process was writing out every single words I was going to say. I usually prepare a public speaking presentation or my teaching lessons through visualization and mind map. I plan out the key messages and related stories/facts. Then, I improvise by listening to my sense and interaction with the audience. The live version is the 8th version I suppose. :D There was some improvisation.

My talk was scheduled in the afternoon of a whole day event. There were five speeches before mine. When I stepped onto the stage, I sensed the tiredness in the audience. So, I invited the audience to take a deep breath, move their body, and make some harmonies together. After adding some oxytocin through collective singing, I picked up my guitar and began to sing my opening song on top of the harmony the audience made. BEAUTIFUL!

In my musical mind, a TEDxTALK is a performance. I visualized the TEDxTALK in three parts. It's a three-movement musical piece.

What is the song you performed as the opening of this TEDxTALK?

Leave your questions in the comment below. I will add them to the Q&A section.